I’m currently sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room, and there’s a hilarious conversation going on outside of the doors…

“See, if I were President of the United States, I would put money toward the infrastructure. The infrastructure’s what needs redoing!”

“Actually, Obama is putting money toward that–”

“No one realizes that the infrastructure is what needs redoing!”

“…That’s one of the current big initiatives…”

“No!”

“…Yes, it is…”

“No one realizes!”

“…”

…And oh God, I think I just heard the word “smallpox.”

Bwaha.

So in theory, I really don’t mind working the closing shifts at the store. I’ve been known to say, “Eh… Whatever,” when I’m scheduled for a bunch of them, where my coworkers tend to foam at the mouth. (…Rabid with anger. That was clear, right? I’m not calling them savages or infected or anything.) but I’ve got to be honest - not leaving work until almost 11:30pm four to fivenights a weekfor the past few has been wearing me down. I sleep until 10 or 11 the next morning, and hi - I’m not in college anymore. It’s not cool to sleep that late when you’re past the age of 23.

In other news, I’m typing this from my iPhone, since Pumpkin chewed an ingeniously placed hole in my laptop’s power cord. I had very dark thoughts about Kitten when I logged onto the Dell website and saw that a new one would cost me $65. Amazon to the rescue, as ever, but I still think Thumbs McBiteyPants needs to start using those extra digits and earning his keep. I’m sure there are plenty of viable job options for an industrious cat with powerhouse lungs. …Which he uses, by the way, to voice his displeasure with being left in my room with the door closed. Or in his kennel at night. Or ignored while, you know, I eat abowl of cereal. He’s loud, all I’m sayin’.

So it’s already 1:30 in the afternoon and I have yet to shower (damn you, closing schedule!), so off I go.. Need to hit up Petco, as well. Maybe they’ll give mr an employee nametag for Jasper right then and there. Either way, my purchases are going on his tab.

Since I wasn’t here for the Fourth, I’ll just wish everyone a happy July day today.  So Happy Sixth. (And happy birthday to my grandfather, one of the best people on the planet, who turns 89 today.)

So, this weekend stunk. And when I say “stunk,” I mean “stunk,” in the sense that spending yesterday in serious, focused recuperation with pizza, ice cream and a really bad Melissa Joan Hart movie was absolutely in order. I made a special trip to the supermarket for all of this, by the way, and it was the only time I left the house after pulling into my driveway at 7am.

Yes, at 7am. Let’s not talk about it.

So, of course, today I’m feeling just about done with all of the recurring nonsense in my life, and, as usual, I’ve decided to first tackle the health&nutrition issue. Because IT’S THE ONE THING I CAN CONTROL DON’T JUDGE ME PLEASE. (Thanks.) I’ve decided not only to start working regular, solid periods of physical activity into my week (about damn time, don’t you think?), but to eat a Vegan diet one day a week. To start, anyway. Because I’m broke and my life is a mess, and let’s face it, going Vegan or Vegetarian for realz is a commitment, folks.

What  I can say for sure is that I’m going to dropkick whoever gets in my way next. …Or, at least, I’ll envision myself doing that, because — again — I’m small. And relatively defenseless. I’m currently getting my butt kicked by 4-pound terror of a kitten. But let’s not spread that around.

Annnnd there’s another crash. This cat is going to make me very gray, very early…

Hey New England? I get the whole “my prerogative” thing you’ve always got going on, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. I mean… It’s been raining for two weeks already!

Melissa needs Summer to REALLY be here, okay? Okay?? Really. Thanks. Thanks.

Either way, it is June and things have definitely slowed down on this end. I’m back to working just ONE job, as opposed to three, and I’ve got to be honest: I’m enjoying having a lazy morning here and there. I couldn’t imagine having Jasper with my Springtime schedule; I’m really glad things have calmed down enough for me to keep him, because I sure do love his furry little face.

Life’s been interesting, otherwise. I have a frustrating crush on a boy, a select few of my friends have decided to dip into the catnip themselves, and the entire prospect of my future (which is coming as soon as September, quite frankly) is utterly, exhaustingly stressful. And I’m broke. There’s always that. BUT! I just reserved a campsite at the beach for two days in August, and I’m excited about the potential for doing nothing but eating strawberries, reading a novel and sunbathing. Even if it IS just Long Island Sound, and let’s face it — that water is NOT swimmable, folks, don’t kid yourselves. But still… Sun. Sand. Strawberries. The ultimate trifecta of relaxation. …Or so I shall tell myself for the next two months.

On that note, it’s off to work.  Expect more updates here, now that things have settled down. I’ll even shoot for interesting content! ;)