The things nightmares are made of…, originally uploaded by Mad-Eye Melissa.

I had this friend, once, a super-intelligent, realllllly straight-laced coworker… We were in high school, and a few kids were talking about some party they’d been to and all of the drunken antics, crazy happenings, the usual. So James shuddered and said, “I have no patience for people who use drugs or alcohol.” He paused. “…I think it’s because I can’t stand the thought of being mellow.”

In case you were wondering — Yes, that WAS really funny. ;)

Anyway, I think it’s got some applicability to the way I feel about the Beats. REALLY, GRAMMAR IS NOT JUST A “SUGGESTION,” MR. KEROUAC, HOW ABOUT SOME COMMA USAGE? I got through about 40 pages of “On The Road” before I threw it across the room, howling in pain and anger.

I think, though, that it’s time I gave at least “On The Road” another try… I’m not sure why I feel this way, though I can reference a conversation I had with a friend last night when I say again that every once in a while, I just decide that it’s “time.” I had heard four measures of “Perfect” by the Smashing Pumpkins when I decided that I absolutely! needed! to buy “Adore.” I hadn’t actually heard a single song from Fall Out Boy when I just KNEW that “Take This To Your Grave” would be the perfect FunSummerAlbum to get me through May and June of 2004.

So hey — why not?

I’m moving to Pennsylvania tomorrow (!!!), but before I go, I’m planning to stop by my former place of employment to use my employee discount one more time. It just so happens that this lovely employee discount — which I will miss more than I can effectively express — will get me 40% off of “On The Road,” if I so choose.

…It just occurred to me how much I’m going to miss the Summer Reading wall. I think I need a hobby. (Really?)

Which brings us to the photo and basic subject of this entry: I’m leaving tomorrow (!) and I’m sad and scared and excited and nervous and I can’t wait but I want to curl up in my bed with my Zoeylinn and hide. For a week. Or a year. Or just go crazy and Rip-Van-Winkle it up.

I’m going to miss my coworkers and my bosses and my regular customers. I’m going to miss tripping over the carpet because I DON’T PICK UP MY FEET WHEN I WALK FOR GOD’S SAKE AFTER FOUR YEARS DON’T YOU LEARN? and I’m going to miss the bruises and burns and scars I get when I forget that, typically, one should use the HANDLE on the grill, or not use the tops of your feet to hold the fridge doors open or stick a hand directly under the hot water spout when making tea. OR when — just hypothetically, of course, this has never really happened … … … — someone (me) gets stuck in the swinging doors to the Cafe and there’s a really loud noise followed by an exclamation of “crippity!” and everyone turns and stares.

…

Despite those things (??), there are people in that building who have made me laugh when I’ve wanted nothing more than to cry, who have listened to me vent and rant and rave and giggle maniacally, who have been my partners in crime and my sounding boards and my second, completely crazy and dysfunctional family. We’ve had our disagreements and our troubles and our stumbling blocks, but in the end, we have always been there for each other, and they are the best people that I could ever imagine knowing. I’ve always known how lucky I’ve been to have them, to have a job where, no matter how hard a day may have been, it always felt more like a day spent with friends. I’ve had customers who have become staples of my week, who have made me smile one million times, who have offered advice and encouragement and little pieces of themselves.

So. I really am going to miss my job and everyone there… And I hope that they come to visit me in Pennsylvania, because really, one can only talk to the bears for so long before the answering grunts become redundant.

With all of that said, I’ve got to stop being a lazy bum and get some errands and necessary to-do’s out of the way… Wish me luck and stuff, and expect lots of pretty pictures this weekend.

Oh, dear, Claudio-o. Sigh. :)