I wrote this in March of 2005, for LiveJournal. It’s fitting, again, in a lot of ways. And since my head is such a mess — has been such a mess — it’s just easier to use it a second time, remind myself that I’ve done this before..:

I’ve been saying a lot lately, “I’ve been through a lot!”

It’s true… I have been. But I guess I’ve been ignoring the most important lesson that I’ve learned: Sometimes, things just end. They stop being the right path, the right direction, the right circumstance. You can choose to ignore it, turn a blind eye, and make it last as long as you’d like for it to, or you can accept what you know in your heart. When it’s time to move on, it’s time, and there simply is no denying it. Love doesn’t end, but it can change. It may take some time to fully know what it’s changed into, but all you can do in the meantime is take the best guess you’ve got… Hope everything works out in the end.

I’ve left a lot of you behind… But contrary to what must, by now, be popular belief, I never stopped loving every single one of you, in a simple, special way. Tonight, I’m leaving someone else behind… And the outcome will be no different, I’m sure.

I’m tired, you guys. I’ve had too many life lessons in too short a time. Please don’t think badly of me… Messy as it might be right now, I’m giving it my best shot.

…and I just might get some sleep tonight.