When I was younger, I would write constantly and without hesitation; I didn’t worry about what I was saying, really, or even, necessarily, who would be reading — be it journals or fiction or poetry, I just wrote. I barely remember what that’s like; I have major attacks of confidence (as in, there’s a civil war, and by the end of the battle, half of it’s entirely destroyed), and I stumble over every single word. I’m trying to write a cover letter, at the moment, and I am choking. Badly. So I’m taking a break, and I will revisit it later. Maybe after the coffee’s kicked in. Thanks, Panera, there’s a strong possibility that I’ll owe you one.

I don’t have much time left before I’ve got to get to work, but I wanted to mention one or two things: I am, as I just mentioned, sitting at Panera, and I’m listening to a group of couples in their late 60’s or early 70’s, I’d guess (I can’t actually see them, but their voices ARE SO LOUD.), and they’re discussing politics. I’ve been biding the tide of “Obama sucks, Bill O’Reilly’s where it’s at” for about twenty minutes, now, and as pro-Obama as I am, it’s not like I can’t deal when someone holds the opposite opinion. I can even deal when it’s SO DISGUSTINGLY EXPECTED, because I’ve now heard enough to understand that these people have most likely had nary a financial worry in their lives and have always surrounded themselves with people just like them. There are attitudes here that scare me, there are viewpoints being expressed right now that make me believe SO STRONGLY in a sentiment that I’ve expressed many, many times over the past four (eight!) years: we need government in this country that represents this country, and when I go a day seeing no one but elderly, Anglican white men in suits, I will concede — but not until then.

“It’s like O’Reilly said… The only reason they didn’t like Sarah Palin is because of jealousy.” And that comment is met by a comment of, “Yes!” and “I know!” and “Absolutely, no doubt about it!” Clearly. I’m a liberal shrew, and I just cannot fundamentally deal with the fact that Sarah Palin is just so damn cute. And friendly. And folksy. And a hockey mom! My dislike of her is no way due to the fact that my LUGGAGE has more foreign relations experience than she does, or that she apparently has no problem with charging rape victims for their own forensic testing. Et cetera.

“Back in the day, this never would have happened. Back then, everyone was doing well.” Everyone… Meaning, everyone in your income bracket; the middle- and upper-middle classes; the white people. Or the veterans who came back to social programs that helped them get on their feet. And great — I’m glad this worked out for you and your friends and, apparently, everyone you knew, but what about the people who weren’t doing well? Were you completely blind to them? How could you make such a blatantly ignorant blanket statement??

I’m out of time… My vacation is now over, which bums me out quite a bit, but that’s okay — it’s been a nice morning, except for the flagrant intolerance streaming on over from the other side of the restaurant. I’ll leave you all with the above rant, as long as you promise to keep in mind that it sounds stilted and forced because of my writer’s block, which is to say, BECAUSE IT IS. I apologize.

…As I’ll have to apologize to whoever has to read this godawful cover letter, too.

Dammit.